Thursday, October 7, 2010

MSU Roundtable

I recently got the chance to sit down with a few Spartan insiders to discuss this Saturday's big game.

We'll start with MSU head cheerleader, Amber French.  Amber, any thoughts on the game Saturday?

Um....... So yeah, excellent perspective. Maybe former coach John L. Smith has a little more insight. Coach, despite being  0-4 against Michigan, what feeling comes to mind when you think back on the Rivalry?


Dynamite stuff...Let's try another expert, former Spartan WR Charles Rogers. Chuck, despite a tumultuous NFL career, you had some success against Michigan in your two years in East Lansing. How did you prepare for the big game?

 Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons. 

That doesn't sound like the greatest pre-game meal, but you are the elite athlete. What was the mindset of the team following the infamous "Clockgate" game in 2001?

 You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy shit, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO. 

Not recently.....Did you.....How.....Moving on.  Maybe another former MSU WR can shed some light on the game. Plaxico Burress, did the team do anything special in the week leading up to the Michigan game?


Mr. Burress?


Inmate 4872234 has lost his phone privileges.

This is going swimmingly. Well, I think that will wrap up this segment forever...

WAIT!!!! What about me? I play for the Lions! I was drafted ahead of those scUM players David Harris and LaMarr Woodley. Did I mention I play for the Lions?

Yes, you were drafted by Matt Millen, and saying you "play" for the Lions is stretching it a bit.

You can't blame that on me. I wanted Sidney Rice.

Who the hell invited Matt Millen? This is getting out of hand. Do any of you want to make a prediction for the game on Saturday?

 First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow. 

Say, man, you got a joint?

No, not on me, man.

It'd be a lot cooler if you diiiiid.

You know uh, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer. Well, I guess that wraps up this year's MSU Roundtable. Please join us next year, though I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.

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