Friday, March 4, 2011

SEMS guide to weathering the Lockout

Despite the 24 hour extension that goes until 11:59 this evening, there is a good chance that the NFL will undergo a work stoppage. A recent poll, that I just made up, says that the average American spends 16 hours a day doing NFL related activities. With no on the field action, we need to find something to occupy our time. Luckily, we (I) here at SEMS have come up with a handy guide to help you get through the lockout.

Pogs-Pogs was a game from the mid 90's that involved little cardboard discs and heavier discs that you threw at a pile of the cardboard discs. I think. I had quite a few pogs back in the day. I had this sweet Chinese throwing star slammer made of brass. I don't think I actually played a "game" with them, but I had a nice little collection. With all this extra time, I may try to bring this game back.

Watching the entire Little House on the Prairie series on DVD- I was never a big fan of this show. I was never even a moderate fan of this show. My mom used to watch it regularly, and I remember the blonde girl was a huge bitch, and there was a blind and/or deaf girl. IMBD says it was on for fucking ever 10 years. That should be good enough to get you to the start of training camp (whenever that is).

Moving on...

Latch Hooking- Not to be confused with actual hooking, this is a fun way to replace your Vai Sikahema Fathead with beautiful floral pillows that you made. Can you rest your weary head on an October 22nd matchup between the Bills and Dolphins? I thinks not.

Watch a Tyler Perry movie-Any Tyler Perry movie.  I would recommend Madea ....

Couldn't force my fingers to finish googling another title.

Volunteer at a local soup kitchen-The easiest way to ween yourself of of the NFL. I mean, all the players and owners are going to need charity right? They can't possibly pay the insurance on their Bentleys, Maybachs, Bugattis, and Escalades and still have money left over for three meals a day, can they? I assume the owner's can sustain themselves on the concession stand inventory for a while, but pretzels and cotton candy only last so long. Just be careful when you serve Braylon Edwards. He will most likely drop the bowl.