Thursday, December 23, 2010

If I am dreaming, don't wake me up

Sometimes you wake up, and the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and you find a $20 dollar bill in your pocket that you don't remember acquiring. As a sports blogger, today was one of those days. The sun had yet to rise, the smart birds have all flown south, and all I found in my pockets was a gum wrapper, and a scribbled on napkin containing my foolproof plans to take over the world. But I always have sports. Sports and schadenfreude.

The first thing I see on Mike and Mike is a story about New York Jets coach Rex Ryan and his wife starring in a foot fetish video. Baahahaha.  Ryan is as animated a character as there is in NFL coaching. Before he faced the Browns, who employ his twin brother as their defensive coordinator, he dressed up in a wig to mimic the long locks adorning his brother's head. Ok, good natured ribbing. He has also got into a war of words with Dolphins LB Channing Crowder. Maybe he was just trying to fire up his team. The real head-scratcher was when he compared himself to Tom Brady due to their "super model" wives. As I'm sure you all know, Brady is married to Gisele Bundchen, a super model. Rex Ryan's wife Michelle was featured in an NFL ad hawking clothes for women. I have a call in to Victoria's Secret to find out if Michelle Ryan was considered for the catalog. Gisele Bundchen has undoubtedly been the fantasy of men all over the world. Michelle Ryan has been the fantasy of men who have a foot fetish. Brady-1, Ryan-0.

So that's cool. I had some funny ideas not involving the terms "agony of defeat", "4th and a foot", or quoting the classic Necessary Roughness, "welcome to foot.....balls"
I had a roundtable idea with Ryan, the butler from Mr. Deeds, Najeh DavenportOsi Umenyiora, etc... I was going pretend to interview Michelle Ryan's feet, and talk to other parts of her body jealous of them. I think I could have pulled them off, but then the OSU news broke...

If you haven't heard by now, Terrelle Pryor, Boom Herron, Devier Posey, and two more Buckeyes have been suspended for the first five games of 2011. They sold awards and traded their autographs for tattoos. Seriously.

Add to that my 3/5 start to picking Bowl games(thanks Fresno State and Southern Miss), Michigan State losing to Texas, and the holidays, and I'm one happy camper. So take a little time out today to appreciate the little things, and the joy they bring. Sing, bling, ring, king. Rhyming, FTW. In these tough times, days like today are few and far between.

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