Pistons are mercifully eliminated

I hate when math takes this long to confirm common sense, but any dwindling hope of the Pistons making the playoffs is D-E-D, dead. Despite a horrible roster, bad coaching, and anarchy in the locker room, they made it until April 1st. It's like a condemned prisoner going to the doctor. The fate was sealed long ago, but it was drawn out too long.

The upside of this is that draftniks like myself can start looking ahead to June 23. Detroit is currently in position to draft ninth, but anything can happen in the lottery. So assuming they can do no worse than 9th, let's see who could be sitting on the bench behind less talented players in October...

Players who will be gone...

This section is for the elite prospects that will be top 5 draft picks in alphabetical order. Keep in mind the NBA draft is much more about upside than the NFL draft.

Harrison Barnes-The number one player coming out of high school, he started slow for UNC but came on in the spring. He scored 40 against Clemson in the ACC tournament, and is an elite SF.

Kyrie Irving-The freshman PG from Duke missed most of the season with a foot injury, but has shown that he's an elite prospect. He averaged 17.5 ppg on a loaded Blue Devil team.

Perry Jones-Another player one year removed from high school, Jones didn't have the type of impact at Baylor that many people expected of him. He is still extremely athletic, and a top-5 lock should he declare.

Enes Kanter-Imagine how messy your situation is if Calipari can't get you into Kentucky. Kanter's status was different because he is from Turkey and already played some pro ball. He is big, athletic, and has huge upside.

Derrick Williams-A rare player who spent a whopping 2 years at Arizona. He is somewhat undersized at 6'8'' 240 lbs, but can score and rebound with anyone. He would have been a lottery pick last year, and should go top-5 this year.

Best of the rest


These are the players that could have an immediate impact, but are a notch below the players listed above.Once again, players are listed in alphabetical order.

Terrence Jones-Another Kentucky player in the top ten. He is slightly undersized, but has good range. He has a boom/bust aspect that is unmatched by the players listed.

Kawhi Leonard-Relatively unknown to most fans, he has been on NBA radars for 3 years. He became a bigger name as SDSU earned a 2 seed. He should be solid, if not unspectacular.

Donatas Motiejunas-One of two Lithuanian big men who should be lottery picks. I haven't seen him play, but he's supposedly good.

Jonas Valanciunas-The second Lithuanian Sensation. Again, I am trusting the mock drafts I have read. I am part Lithuanian, so I don't want to see him in Detroit.

Kemba Walker-The UCONN PG was the best player in college this season if you ask me. He dominated in the Big East, the Big East Tournament, and has UCONN in the Final Four. He can get his shot whenever he wants, and should be a good pro.

That would be my top 10. If I had to put money on who ends up a Piston, it would be on Jimmer Fredette. He would fit in with the rest of the Pistons in that he needs 30 shots a game to score 30. I would have included Jared Sullinger, but he says he's staying at OSU.

If I were to put them in order, it would be:

1. Irving
2. Kanter
3. Barnes
4. Williams
5. Perry Jones
6. Walker
7. Leonard
8. Valanciunas
9. Motiejunas
10. Terrence Jones

Let's hope the lottery works out, and they get a top-5 pick.

Lol Pistons. Just Plain Lol

(I realize that most of this is old news)

Well, it finally happened. A local team has surpassed the Lions as the laughing-stock of the Detroit Sports landscape. So congrats, Pistons. You have made the Lions (and most other professional sports teams) look like the Pats/Yankees/Steelers/Lakers/et al. A team with so much recent success, and an NBA championship as recently as 2003-2004, now looks like any team from any sports movie until the 1 hour mark. They are the Cleveland Indians before they found out about Rachel Phelps. They are the Texas State Fighting Armadillos before the bar fight.

So what caused them to go down faster than a cheerleader on a Friday night? There are many reasons:

1. Joe Dumars
2. Charlie Villanueva
3. Ben Gordon
4. Rip Hamilton
5. Joe Dumars

I think the blame is mainly on Joe Dumars, if I didn't make that clear above. He signed the other people on the list to insane contracts. Like Charlie Sheen insane. This we know. Despite being overpaid, this roster has talent. But not elite talent. And seeing teams like Boston, Miami, Chicago, New York, Orlando, OKC, Dallas, and to a lesser extent San Antonio atop the standings is not surprising due to them all having at least one Superstar. I exclude the Spurs because I fucking hate the Spurs. Tim Duncan with his George Mikan bank shots. Tony Parker is French. Manu Ginobli looks like cousin Balki. But everyone else has player/s that could be the star on any team. Detroit has a few nice 3/4/5 options on decent teams. Does anyone think Ben Gordon would ever get the ball in Miami? Would Tayshaun average 10 minutes per game in Boston? Hell, they barely do here, and we're terrible.

Ben Gordon was signed to a 5 year 58 Million dollar contract prior to last season. He has started 41 of his 125 games as a Piston. Villanueva makes 7 Million per year. He has started 27 of his 138 games in two years. So obviously, there were problems coming into the year. Then the last few weeks happened....

The trade deadline was the one chance for optimism. The chance to unload guys like Rip and Tay. To pick up expiring contracts/younger players/draft picks. It's the one time I was actively searching for Pistons news all year. And the rumors were flying. Tayshaun to Dallas for Caron Butler's expiring contract and a first round pick? Pistons decline. Rip to Cleveland for 12.6 Mil and a 2nd? Rip declines (although the Pistons were to give up a lottery protected 1st in 2012(which would have been protected) so it isn't as bad) even though he thinks Kuester is a career assistant coach? Jebus, if that doesn't scream bitter, I'm not sure what does. Oh, maybe this, He also turned down a buyout and the ability to go play with Derrick Rose in Chicago.

Have another, Rip!

But at least the veteran players are committed to finishing strong. Yeah, about that.... What a shambles. I have seen better organizational control at USC. The Lohan family thinks the Pistons are dysfunctional.

I would venture to say that leaves Detroit as a lottery team come draft time. They are currently in line for the 8th spot based on record. That leaves them out of the running for guys like Jared Sullinger, Enes Kanter, etc.

There really is no silver lining to be seen. They are saddled with disgruntled, overpaid players. No chemistry. A coach who has lost control of his team. No owner. A GM that rewards mediocre players like they have incriminating photos of him. I guess the only thing worth watching is the freak show. Does Rip go all Sprewell on Kuester? Does CV31 steal a teammates eyebrows? The opportunities are endless!

Weekend Basketball Recap

I have been a huge fan of All-Star Weekend for a long time. Some of my favorite moments were Dee Brown in 1991...

Craig Hodges dominating the 3-point shootout...

And Vince Carter in 2000...

Jebus, what happened? Now you get a 2:00 shot clock (unless you involve the guy from The Black Eyed Peas, and stuffed animals) and as many attempts misses as you want, until you finally make it on your 8th try, thereby eliminating any actual applause. This year was no different. Blake Griffin only had to tie his shoes to be handed the title Saturday night. I wonder if Vegas took bets on either:

1. Justin Bieber winning the fan vote for MVP of the "celebrity" game. 
2. Blake Griffin winning the fan vote for the dunk contest.

I have personally vowed to never watch another celebrity game as long as people like Rob Kardashian and Bieber are involved. I remember T.O. and Master P actually playing. Now.....sigh

The Rookie/Sophomore game was what I thought it was, and I let them off the hook...

There was less defense in this game than at Charlie Sheen's pharmacist, and only slightly less scoring. The Rookies won 148-140. Yada, yada John Wall had 22 assists. Demarcus Cousins didn't kill anyone*, and Greg Monroe was his solid self. He scored 14, had 8 boards, and 3 assists. The sophomores.....played too. There was a pretty solid dunk though.

Saturday was predictable. I didn't watch the Player/Old Timer/"girl"** competiton. I stopped watching when I heard the teams:

1. Atlanta
2. Chicago
3. Los Angeles
4. Texas

One of these things is not like the other,one of these things just doesn't belong. Stephen Curry won the least dribbles in 30 seconds contest over Russel Westbrook.

A quick break from NBA action. In the Baylor women's game, Felisha from Friday dunked. She didn't look 6'8'' in the movie, but it came out back in 1995. What? Brittney Griner is not the same person? Hmm....

Felisha from Friday

Brittney Griner from Baylor

Sorry, back to the NBA. So Serge Ibaka dunks from the free throw line (for real, not like Jordan or Brent Barry who were a step inside the line) and gets a 45. Blake Griffin jumps over the hood of a car*** and gets elected Mayor of Butte, MT? I get that this is a popularity contest, but if David Stern is going to keep it this way, force LeBron, Kobe, Durant, et al to participate. I mean seriously, how many people had heard of Jevale McGee or Serge Ibaka before last night? I bet 82% of America expected Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Strangers to come out....

I'm sorry, but

Is far superior to



Ok, NBA. You win this round.

*-That we know of.

**-"She" was on team Atlanta...
***-Well, a KIA anyway