Tuesday, May 31, 2011

TresseLOL is no more



Fuck. Wait, what?

The head coach of your biggest rival resigns amidst major accusations of player misconduct, and you are upset? The same coach that is was 9-1 against Michigan? The same coach that consistently lands top ranked recruiting classes months after playing in BCS Bowl Games? The guy that did for sweater vests what The Fonz did for leather jackets?

The exact same one. James Patrick Tressel. Coverer of facts. Look-a-liker of Owls. Molder of young men.

Yep. It saddens me a little. I foolishly thought he was clean. I knew Pryor was a "well compensated student athlete." Everyone did. Everyone whose school he was considering knew there was a fairly decent chance he would end up driving nicer cars than the coaching staff. Hell, I was happy with my 2008 Impala until he was seen driving around in this....
This picture is titled "pryor-fucktard.jpg" which is nice

But I thought Tressel would suspend him(or anyone else doing what Pryor does/did) for a season and regain his institutional control. I figured he would reach the Sugar/Rose Bowl with Braxton Miller and all would be forgiven. He could send a message to everyone that his big fish weren't above the law. I thought he was truly just looking out for his players. I thought UM-OSU was finally on the right track.

I thought wrong. It happens. Often.

Instead, it seems that he resigned before the real hammer comes down. Pete Carrol must have better timing than Tressel, since he landed in the NFL. Tressel will likely land in either airport hotel lobbies, or ESPN. I am already signed up for a "Prospering in college sports when dealing with inner city athletes" seminar with a yet-to-be-announced speaker.

I signed up early, so I got two free drink coupons. I can't see him ever coaching again. At least not in college, and let's be honest, he wouldn't make it in the NFL. 

So why, after all that, am I upset he's gone? Because he left on top. At least over Michigan. Sure, the eligibility of his players is in question, but on the field? He kicked our asses 9 out of 10 times. Ok, maybe 8/10 (thanks Shawn Crable "late hit" call in '06).  And we will never be able to get revenge. Ever.

Whoever they bring in next will be given the requisite 2-3 years, so even a win won't smell as sweet. And if it's Urban Meyer, Bob Stoops, Jon Gruden, or some other top tier guy, they won't need much more than a year. And, yes, we may steal a few recruits this year. Tressel did such a good job that they can absorb a bad recruiting season. National Signing Day is months and months away.

I am a big fan of analogies, so imagine this. You have been getting bullied for years. The last few years, you had a broken arm which inhibits your ability to fight back (RR era). Now you got your cast off, and have been working out non-stop to regain your strength (Hoke-A-Mania). So you march over to the bully's house, and he has moved out. Joined some religious cult, and travels from airport to airport handing out literature. He has changed his name to escape the demons of his past. He's essentially disappeared.

Is his current situation revenge enough for you? Wouldn't you feel more fulfilled if you had been able to unleash a good 'ole fashioned ass-whooping? I know I would.

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