Thursday, June 23, 2011

2011 NBA Draft Primer

It’s that time again, Pistons fans. Time for Joe Dumars to throw a dart and select the newest members of our team. For every triple-20 (Monroe, Jerebko) he throws, he also hits the wall (Darko, Daye, the narcoleptic Walter Sharpe).  Rarely does he hit a solid 15 to close it out (Stuckey). So it is more exciting than the NFL draft in that you never know what’s gonna happen.

My love of the NBA draft started in 1991 when Larry “Grandmama” Johnson was drafted by Charlotte first overall. I watched him beat Duke in the NCAA Final, and was a huge fan. Plus I had a teal starter Hornets jacket. This one in fact...

I thought I was the SHIT in that jacket. And as it turned out, I was. I got pooped on by a seagull on the left shoulder while feeding the fish outside Reflection's restaurant in Belleville. Ironic, huh Alanis?

Anywho.... My love continued when Chris Webber went number one overall in 1993. Timeout aside, I loved Webber. I saw him play in Ypsi when he was a senior at Country Day when my sister sang the National Anthem. Then he got traded right away for Penny Hardaway. My first introduction to the business side of sports.

Up next was 1995. I was at my dad's softball game when I heard the Pistons got Grant Hill. As much as I hated Duke (and still do for that matter) I liked Grant Hill. Of course had I known the teal era was forthcoming, my excitement would have been tempered.

The next big one for me was 2003. Darko. Fuck.

So now I will provide my guide to tonight's festivities.

The Pistons draft 8th (barring a trade, more on that in a bit) in one of the weakest drafts in recent memory. How weak? A mormon that will shoot anytime after he reaches mid-court is a lottery-lock.

There are 4 players that have a less than 1% chance of lasting until 8th.

Kyrie Irving-PG Duke. Almost a lock to go #1 to Cleveland.

Derrick Williams-F Arizona. High floor/ low ceiling.

Enes Kanter-C Kentucky/Turkey. Looks like a randomized create a prospect from NBA Live.

Brandon Knight-PG Kentucky. Joins Derrick Rose, Tyreke Evans, and John Wall as Calipari PGs.

Any of those guys in Detroit would get an A+ in my book. Another way to get an A+ is for Joe D to get rid of any of the following: Rip, Ben Gordon, Villanueva. They are expensive and shitty. Give up what you have to. Take on bad contracts. Just ship them out.

Assuming Detroit still picks 8th, there are some talented players available. I will break them down into grade-levels.


Jonas Valanciunas- Lithuanian (hello bias) C with huge upside. He has buyout concerns, so he may slip. Otherwise he's a top-5 talent.

Bismack Biyombo-Conganese. Congolian? Congan? He's from Congo. He brings blocks and dunks. A local favorite.

Jan Vesely-Huge Czech SF that projects to Andrei Kirilenko when he was still good.

These guys have A upside and huge bust potential. This team needs to swing for the fences.


Kemba Walker-UCONN PG. Undersized, but can definitely score. Led UCONN to the Title.

Chris Singleton-Florida State SF. A personal favorite, but may be a reach at #8.

Tristan Thompson-Texas PF. Meh. Should be good, not great.

Kawhi Leonard-SDSU SF. Like Thompson with slightly more boom/bust potential.


Marcus Morris or Markieff Morris Kansas PFs. Twinsies that will be seperated. How will they react. Marcus is the better player, fwiw.

Klay Thompson-Wash. St SG. Son of NBA player. Drug charges. Skinny. Good shooter.


Jimmer Fredette-BYU SG. National sensation. Adam Morrison but short. DO. NOT.WANT.

Anyone else gets an F as well. I can't see it being anyone else which means it will be some 5'6'' Eskimo with great intangibles.

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