On 3-0, 4-0, and 92-67

On this date, September 26, 2011, the Detroit Lions are 3-0. This isn’t some weird situation where the preseason started late, so the games don’t count. They are 3-0 in the regular season. Of the NFL.

…

By now I’m sure you’ve seen all the stats about the last time they were 3-0. How Jimmy Carter was president, and gas cost $1.22 /gallon, and the number one song in America was Diana Ross’ “Upside Down”. Shit, I wasn’t even born yet. But there are other fun facts. For instance, only 8 players from the 53 man roster were actually alive the last time they were 3-0. In 1980, the Kansas City Royals played in the World Series. I will stop there.

But is all the celebration a case of a starved fan base grasping onto the first glimmer of positivity they have seen in what seems like forever? Maybe. Is this a mirage; a team playing way above their head that will struggle to win another game this season? I say no. This is a team that blew out Tampa Bay (10-6 last year, and 2-1 so far this year), Kansas City (which isn’t that impressive given their struggles this year, but they were 10-6 last season), and then rallied from a 20-0 halftime deficit to beat the Vikings in Minnesota for the first time since 1997.

I am trying so hard not to overreact. I truly am, but I’m not sure I have the self-control. This is obviously one of the 5 best teams in the NFL right now. Key word being now. Will they keep this up? Hopefully.

Up next is Dallas. Dallas is one of the more wounded teams going right now. Tony Romo is playing tonight with a broken rib, and is one hit away from starting Jon Kitna again. Miles “gums” Austin is out, Felix Jones and Dez Bryant are hobbled, and they have 2 injured kickers. Ouch….literally. This could be a completely different looking team on Sunday. They will also have a short week after playing on MNF.

Also, check out my predictions so far….Not too shabby.

As for the Wolverines, it is a similar story. They are 4-0, when I expected 3-1. It took the comeback of all comebacks in the greatest football game I have ever witnessed to beat Notre Dame to get there, but there they are.

Many thought that with “Gorgeous” AL Borges coming on as the offensive coordinator, that Denard Robinson’s rushing production would be limited. Wrong-o. Wrong,wrong,wrong. Denard is currently leading the NCAA in rushing yards per game since they didn’t count the Western Game. His passing game has regressed (save for the heaves in the 4^th quarter of the Irish game) but his legs still need to be game planned against.

The defense is a toss-up from week to week. They gave up 207 yards on the ground to Eastern, but held Ronnie Hillman to his worst game so far. No one knows which defense will show up. They have only given up 12.8 ppg, good for 11^th in the country, a far cry from last year when they gave up 7349 points a game.

There is more good news. They play Minnesota next. Yay! Minnesota is 1-3, and just lost to Div I-AA North Dakota State by 13. I would talk more shit about them, but their coach has medical concerns, and I’m better than that. Shut up cocksucker, I am.

So, it’s a pretty good time to be a Lions/Wolverines fan right about now. 7-0, with postseason aspirations, and Denard Robinson and Calvin Johnson are two of the most impressive athletes in their respective sports.  Of course, it could all come tumbling down like it usually does. I don’t care, I’m getting naked and dancing in the streets. Wanna stop me? Donate money to a charity. BOOM.

Also, as I am preparing to go to the monsoon turned game tonight, the Tigers are heading to the postseason. I have a future post planned, but I wanted to give you a heads up that I will be in the front row above the bullpen for tonight’s game at Comerica. If the Tigers start losing, I will be the guy drunkingly stumbling around in left-center before getting tased by a 73 year old lady security guard.

2011 Lions Preview

To say expectations about the Detroit Lions haven’t been this high since Barry was still playing is like saying that Brian Kelly has anger management issues. It would be akin to suggesting to Sammi and Ron-Ron that maybe they would be better off seeing other people. Hell, Peter King of SI/NBC called them a Super Bowl contender. I know, right? While he has since back tracked faster than Nnamdi Asomogha, he still has them making the playoffs. That is still optimistic, but realistic at least. I think that his 10-6 prediction is “best case scenario”, and would be happy with 8-8. This optimism is all based upon Matthew Stafford playing all 16 regular season games, and therein lies the rub. You guarantee a health Stafford, and I am on board with 10 or 11 wins. I just have yet to see anything that makes me believe he can stay healthy. His injuries have been of the freak variety, but they cost him games nonetheless.

For this preview, I will group all the position groups together, before taking a broader view.

QUARTERBACK

This, as I alluded to earlier, should be the difference between playoffs, and draft lottery. Matthew Stafford has killed it this preseason, putting up a 25/33 for 395 yards with 5TD and 0 picks. I know, I know, preseason. But dude showed what he can do. He did that against mostly first team defenses, and with the shortened training camp, they had their foot on the pedal. The biggest stat to look at is that he was only sacked once. Backus and crew have to make this their priority, and it looks like they finally “get it” for once.

So what does that mean for the regular season? Beats me. And anyone who tells you they know what will happen is a flat out, poopy-faced liar. Yeah I said it. I hate to be Debbie Downer, but I doubt he starts all 16 games this year.  He has yet to do it, and until I’m proven wrong, I will be cautious.

So I guess it’s all gloom and doom again, right? Not so fast my friend. There is actually a capable backup. His name is Shaun Hill, and he performed well last year in relief. 2686 yards with a 16/13 ratio isn’t too bad considering the run game was essentially nonexistent by the time he took over. Jahvid Best was playing on 8 toes, and he was the highlight. He isn’t Peyton Manning by any means, but he also isn’t Peyton Manning’s neck. He’s a guy that will win you a game or two that you shouldn’t have won. He can also cost you a few in the same vein. He should fill-in admirably should Stafford need a few weeks off.

Drew Stanton is still on the roster. He played well enough for me to not hate his guts (as much) at the end of the year. And I know I keep harping on this, but the Lions benched him in favor of Hill last year, despite the miniscule fact that SHAUN HILL HAD A BROKEN ARM. I thought Zac Robinson should have won the job, but I digress. If it comes down to Stanton, chances are Mayhew is looking for a QB early in the 2012 draft.

This position will be the only copout.

HEALTHY STAFFORD GRADE-B

HURTY STAFFORD GRADE- C

RUNNING BACK

Jahvid Best started out like gangbusters last year. He ended up like Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters 3. He suffered from the dreaded turf toe for about the last 2/3 of the season, and lost his explosiveness. Unfortunately, Maurice Morris, Kevin Smith, Aaron Berry, and company couldn’t pick up the slack. The team addressed the depth issue by drafting Mikel Leshoure in the 2^nd round. Leshoure promptly tore his Achilles, and put the team back to square one.

Best and Morris are back, and that’s about it. A healthy Best is an offensive weapon both running the ball, and catching it out of the backfield. But he is not a 25 carry a game guy, and neither is Morris. The team brought in 2 new players to help out in Jerome Harrison from Cleveland, and Keiland Williams from Washington.

They are good depth players, but not the type of guy that will lead you deep into the playoffs. Although, I think Williams is a sleeper.

Had Leshoure been here, I would be happy but not ecstatic about the position. As it stands?

RUNNING BACK GRADE- B-

WIDE RECEIVER

Calvin Johnson is Calvin Johnson.

Nate Burleson had what could be a breakout preseason both production wise and, more importantly, chemistry wise. He and Stafford looked to be N’Sync, and said “Bye, Bye, Bye” to the questions about his inability to keep teams from double covering CJ. He had 55 catches and 6 scores last year, but I could do that opposite Calvin Johnson, and I’m out of shape and a smoker. It’s a good bet that the team will get better production out of the position this year.

And just to be sure, the Lions hedged their bets by drafting Titus Young in the second round of the draft. Young is a prototypical slot WR who should be most effective on short to intermediate crossing routes where he can use his speed to separate from linebackers.

Other players at the position are Rashied Davis, a special teamer from Chicago. Maurice Stovall, a 6’5’’ 220 pounder they picked up off the scrap heap, and looked impressive. Stefan Logan is the main return guy, who I will cover in the Special Teams section.

Anytime you have CJ, a player like Burleson in his second year with the team, and a speedy second round rookie, you are incapable of anything less than a B+ in my book

WIDE RECIEVER GRADE- A-

TIGHT END

Brandon Pettigrew is emerging as one of the best young tight ends in the game. He had 71 catches and 4 TD last year while recovering from a torn ACL. He should be a great ¾ option in the passing game.

Tony Scheffler is the backup, and had 45 catches last year. That is impressive. He could start on a large number of teams, but will still get plenty of time in 2 TE sets when the team tries to establish the run.

Will Heller is an H-back who will play FB when the situation arises. Meh.

TIGHT END GRADE- B

OFFENSIVE LINE

Lest I be considered an imbiber of the Kool-Aid, it gets worse. The skill positions are legit. If this was NFL Blitz, I would pick them over almost everyone. But, in the real world, blocking is important. And blocking is far from this team’s strength.

Contrary to popular opinion, Jeff Backus did not create cancer. He did not fund any terrorist attacks. He did not have sex with your sister. (Ok, I’m 99.9% sure on the first two, and about 50-50 on the third. Dude’s a millionaire.) He is not Jake Long or Joe Thomas, but he isn’t (insert a Raiders or Bills OT here). He’s a serviceable piece that will need replacing soon.

Rob Sims is aboverage (above average) at LG, and is the strongest piece they have. He can be a Pro Bowler if the team succeeds.

Dominic Raiola talks too much, but is still a starter-level player.

Stephen Peterman/Jacques McClendon/Dylan Gandy is the weakest link on the line. The upside is McClendon, but hopes aren’t high.

Gosder Cherilius just got called for a penalty, and he isn’t playing. He is a first rounder that hasn’t developed. He still has time, but not much.

What else can I say? They are the weakest position group on the defense by a large margin. Whether it’s a reflection on the patchwork offense of last year is yet to be seen.  The line gets a horrible rep, but actually isn’t as bad as most think. It gets dinged for not keeping Stafford healthy, however.

OFFENSIVE LINE GRADE- D

OFFENSE

Like I said, this can vary depending on Stafford’s shoulder. If the deep threats at WR and TE can keep teams from loading the box, Best can have a big year. It would also keep blitzers from having free shots, since they will be in coverage. It will also allow someone other than CJ to have the honor of being double teamed on a play-by-play basis.

I will again hedge my bets, and say Stafford misses 3-4 games in the middle of the year, and Hill fills in adequately.

OVERALL OFFENSIVE GRADE- B-

In years past, coming to the defensive side of the ball is when I would start taking shots of paint thinner until I could convince myself that Jordon Dizon and Paris Lenon were legit NFL linebackers. This year I am just going to refresh my cocktail and try to stay realistic. OK, maybe 1 or 2 shots for having remembered Dizon was once a starter.

DEFENSIVE LINE

The obvious strength of the defense, this D-line is one of, if not THE, best in the NFL. The Suh-Nami was defensive rookie of the year, and could be better this year with a healthy KVB. He gets labeled dirty, but I say he just plays hard. Yes, I named numerous fantasy teams the “Suh-Namis” this year, wanna fight about it?

The other DTs are pretty badass as well. Corey Williams more than held his own, and Sammie Lee Hill and Andre Fluellen are quality rotation guys. And they drafted the most dominating collegiate defensive player since, uh, Suh, in Nick Fairley. He has been injured, but when healthy he should clean up next to the House of Spears.

The Des should also reap the benefits of Suh, but it is dependent on Kyle Vanden Bosch’s health. He can be a playmaker when he isn’t double teamed, and the tackles should ensure that he isn’t. He’s getting older, but is far from done. (Fingers crossed)

Cliff Avril had 8.5 sacks last year, and should be able to improve on that with better linebacker and DB play. He has really emerged as a pass rusher, and should hit double-digit sacks this year.

Lawrence Jackson was a steal after he was waived by Seattle, and Willie Young adds depth.

DEFENSIVE LINE GRADE- A

LINEBACKER

This is the most revamped unit on the team, and with that comes a Hallelujah. Julian Peterson was a bust in his time here. He put up good stats, but was constantly out of position, and had some bad penalties. He is no longer here.

The holdovers from last year are DeAndre Levy, who looked like the player he was drafted to be. He was out of position playing MLB last year, and luckily will no longer be there. He will move to the weak side, and can hopefully put some pressure on the QB.

Bobby Carpenter, Ashlee Palmer, and Isaiah Ekejiuba (yes, I had to look it up….thrice), are also back, and should be special teamers/depth guys who won’t kill you. I like Bobby Carpenter, and seeing as he’s a former Buckeye, that is high praise.

Now here’s where most of my personal optimism comes. The Lions signed two starting linebackers. One is Justin Durant, formerly of the Jaguars. He will start on the strong-side, and will be solid. That is nice to say.

But Mr. Stephen Tulluch could be special. He, well, just read what I said when they signed him. I won’t throw out the S word, but Spielman is the potential.

This is the most improved unit on the field and, assuming the gel sometime before November, could be a real strength when the weather gets cold, and teams want to run the ball. Homer grade coming in 3….2….

LINEBACKER GRADE- B

DEFENSIVE BACKS

It starts with Louis Delmas, not only because he led the team in tackles, but he rocks gold teeth, and mostly because he has a pet alligator. He can be a ballhawk when not chasing down receivers that are roaming free 30 yards downfield.

Amari Spievey is a converted corner who will start at strong safety. He should again fit the solid criteria.

The backups at safety are Erik Coleman, Randy Phillips, and special teamer extraordinaire John Wendling. Coleman is pretty good, Phillips is young, and Wendling is a special teamer extraordinaire.

The much-maligned cornerbacks got upgraded as well. Chris Houston probably isn’t a true #1 corner, but he is here. He had one pick, and spent too much time tackling guys after 12 yard gains.

The new starter is Eric Wright, a FA signed from Cleveland. He was a beast two years ago, struggled last year, and is a high-upside question mark this year. He should be somewhere in between, shading towards good. He should be better in this defensive scheme.

Alphonso “Do the Carlton” Smith led last year with 5 picks, but got burned so bad in the New England game, he needed skin grafts.  He was pressed into starting last year, and should man the nickel spot this year.

The rest….uh oh. Aaron Berry should be OK. The rest are guys I doubt you have seen play. Let’s hope it stays that way, if you catch my drift.

This is a below average unit that will be helped by a great D-Line, improved linebackers, and an Offense that may make teams press. If I’m wrong about any of the aforementioned units, expect what you’ve seen the last few years.

DEFENSIVE BACKS GRADE- C-

SPECIAL TEAMS

Jason Hanson is back for the umpteenth time, and will be accurate. He’s Jason Hanson.

Longtime punter Nick Harris lost the job to undrafted rookie Ryan Donahue from Iowa. Harris was decent, so I expect the same or slightly better from Donahue.

The new kickoff rules hurt Detroit more than 75% of the teams, since Stefan Logan is one of the best in the league at returning kicks. Expect to see him taking a knee in the end zone more times than not. However, he also returns punts. He averaged 12.1 yards a return last year.

Let’s just hope this unit never becomes front page news. They should be around middle of the pack, which is fine. Or whatever, it’s special teams.

SPECIAL TEAMS GRADE- C

DEFENSE/SPECAL TEAMS

This is where it gets tough. It comes down to “Do you buy the hype” or “I have seen Lucy pull the ball away right before I kick it, so I am tempering my expectations. Yes, in fact I am Charlie Brown. No, I never understood what my teacher was saying.” The age old question of head –vs- heart. Or in this case, head –vs- liver. I am begrudgingly going with my heart. I always hear about the NFL’s parity, and how it’s cyclical in nature, and herpity derpity derp.

The truth is, this is the most talent assembled on this side of the ball in ages. And, I can’t bring myself to go in halfway. I have to trust in The Schwartz, and hope Suh isn’t negated by suspensions or chop blocks from butthurt offensive linemen.

OVERALL DEFENSIVE/SPECIAL TEAMS GRADE- B

INTANGIBLES

These Lions have a chip on their shoulder. At least they better. They have been the butt of jokes on The Simpsons, The Tonight Show, and countless ESPN studio shows for years now. They will continue to be a laughing-stock until they prove themselves otherwise. The roster only has 10 players that was here when they went 0-16, so let’s hope the new guys can get some redemption for Hanson and the others.

CRAZY PREDICTIONS

Here’s where the fun starts. Here’s where I throw shit at the wall and sees what sticks.

• ·         The Lions have 4 Pro Bowl starters. Calvin, Sims, Suh, and Tulluch. Avril makes it as an alternate, despite deserving to start.
• ·         CJ has a career year, and passes Andre Johnson as the undisputed best WR in the NFL.
• ·         Tulluch leads the NFC in tackles.
• ·         Avril has 12+ sacks.
• ·         Stafford misses 3-4 games, but plays as a top 10 QB when healthy.
• ·         Hanson is unable to finish the season, and kicking becomes a huge weakness.

RECORD

The tough part about predicting the record is the uncertainty surrounding so many teams on the schedule. What do you do with Kansas City, who made the playoffs last year, but waaay overachieved? What about Chicago, who made the playoffs with Jay Cutler at QB?

I will go with 10-6. The wins?

·         At Tampa Bay

·         Kansas City

·         At Minnesota

·         Chicago

·         San Francisco

·         At Denver

·         Carolina

·         Minnesota

·         At Oakland

·         At Green Bay

I just peed a little. I am picking them for the playoffs, but losing in the first round unless the pull the winner of the NFC West, in which case they go 1-1 in the playoffs, and statues of Schwartz are erected outside Ford Field. Also, I just said erected.

Here goes nothin….

Lions sign Stephen Tulluch

The Detroit Lions signed ILB Stephen Tulluch to a one year deal worth 3.35 Million. Yes,please. Tulluch is arguably the best young ILB in the NFL. He's only 26, and had 160 takles last year. He has a prior relationship with the Schwartz from their days in Tennessee, much like KVB.

To put his performance in perspective, Louis Delmas led the Lions last year with 84 tackles. For you non math majors, that is roughly half. My only beef with this deal is the length. I would like to lock him up in my basement to a long term deal.

This Lions D could be scary good. CB is the last "need", so expect to see Chris Houston back in Detroit.

Lions sign DT Quinn Pitcock

Fuck me.

The Lions have just signed DT Quinn Pitcock. Wait, it gets better. The Quinn Pitcock from Ohio State. Strike One. The Quinn Pitcock who plays the same position as Ndamukong Suh, Nick Fairley, Corey Williams, Sammie Lee Hill, Andre Fluellen, et al. Fouled it off, strike two.

The same fucking Quinn Pitcock who was drafted in the 3rd round of the 2007 NFL Draft by the Colts and retired after one year due to addiction problems. What was this cat addicted to, you ask? Meth? Nah. Coke? Nope. Booze? Weed? Sex? Not so much. Video games. The guy quit football so he could sit around and play Super Mario Brothers.

Seriously, why can't I be like 6'4'' 280 lbs? Is that all it takes to make big money? I mean, I love Grand Theft Auto as much as the next guy, but are there NFL teams hitting me up? The rhetorical answer to that rhetorical question is no, in case I wasn't clear. Never say I left you hanging.

That's it. I'm quitting this blog so I can focus on beating Sonic the Hedgehog. Maybe ESPN will hire me if I do.

Lions offseason review 7-29-2011

With the lockout finally over and the teams signing free agents, or at least agreeing to terms with them, I figured it was time to look at how the Lions are looking up to this point.

Rookies

 All the drafted rookies have signed their deals and will not miss any practice time. Nick Fairley, the Lions first rounder signed a 4-year, ten million dollar deal. Wow, the rookies really got jail sexed in the new CBA. Last year’s #13 pick got 5 years and 22 Million. Of course, that player is Brandon “motherfucking” Graham, so he is criminally underpaid. In case you have forgotten, the other draft picks are Mikel Leshoure, Titus Young, Doug Hogue, and Johnny Culbreath.

 They have also signed a bunch of undrafted free agents. These guys are basically camp dummies, and will rarely make the team. I know, I know, Kurt Warner and Priest Holmes. I said rarely. Some notable names on this list (i.e. players you may have heard of) are…

·         TE Preston Dial-Alabama

·         LB Quentin Davie-Northwestern

·         LB Cobrani Mixon-Kent State (formerly Michigan)

·         P Ryan Donahue-Iowa

The rest of the names can be found here.

 Roster Cuts

Jordan Dizon and Bryant Johnson have been cut to clear salary and remove two sub-par players. Dizon was a horrendous “Millen Overdraft” in the 2008 draft, going 45^th overall(!!!) Some notable players the Lions passed on in favor of Dizon?

·         Running backs like Ray Rice, Jamaal Charles, and Steve Slaton

·         Tight Ends like Jermichael Finley and Martellus Bennet

·         WRs like Mario Manningham and DeSean Jackson

·         I am just depressing myself at this point

·         Fuck do I hate Matt Millen

·         Why am I still typing in this bulleted list?

·         Because you are a lazy asshole.

·         Thanks for checking in, self-esteem.

·          Anytime, shitbeard!

Dizon wasn’t a horrible player, he was just a 4^th round prospect. And Bryant Johnson was a gamble that didn’t work out. I hope these cats catch on somewhere.

 Trades

None that I know of, so I’m not sure why I even made this section.

Resignings

Drew Stanton (I still don’t get it), John Wendling, Dave Rayner, Dylan Gandy, and Brandon McDonald have all agreed to terms with the Lions. I understand ¾ of them. Can they cut Stanton and give him a chance elsewhere? In case you have forgotten, they started a broken-armed Shaun Hill over him last season. I personally can’t stand the guy, but sheesh. He’s getting strung along like a retarded Yorkie at a pet store. You keep playing with it, but there’s no way you are taking it home.

Free Agent Signings

To date, there are 5 new members of the Lions since Tuesday.

1.       WR Rashied Davis from Chicago. Huh? Dude has 14 catches in his last two years. Maybe a special teamer.

2.       CB Maurice Leggett from Kansas City. Who? He worked with Gunther in KC, so maybe he can work some magic.

3.       TE LaDarius Johnston from Seattle. Seriously? I thought we were set at TE with Grew and Scheffler.

4.       LB Justin Durant from Jacksonville. All right, now we’re talking. He should compete for a starting spot immediately.

5.       CB Eric Wright from Cleveland. This is the move (so far) that excites me the most. He’s a young CB that didn’t fit in Cleveland’s new defensive scheme, so he came cheap after a disappointing 2010. He also has the same name as Eazy-E. Fuck yeah!

Wright can be a number 1 CB if needed, and can slide to number 2 if Asomugha somehow signs here(doubtful), they re-sign Houston (possible), or they sign a Cris Carr or Antonio Cromartie (who knows?).

What’s Left?

 There are still some big needs to fill. Like I just said above, CB needs to be addressed since they ignored it in the draft. They still need at least 1 more linebacker. And OL depth is always an issue. At CB, the names Asomugha and Cromartie would be nice, but expensive. Hell, Cro has 14 kids to feed. Correction, it’s only nine kids……with 8 different women.BAAAAAAALIN. His dick has to be as tired as an anemic marathon runner. Shit. I couldn’t find 8 women that could even stand the THOUGHT of having sex with me right now without throwing up in their mouth. 

 So be prepared to see a corner like Carr, Houston, or Carlos Rogers receive some press. Any less than that, and we’re in trouble.

 At linebacker, it isn’t as big of a need. The have Levy who can play anywhere, and they signed Durant. Doug Hogue was drafted in the 5^th round, so he’s a crap shoot. There are some big names being linked to Detroit like Steven Tulluch and Nick Barnett at ILB. Yes please. This defense has the potential to be sick with a few solid moves. Tulluch is that move, and he played for Jim Schwartz in Tennessee. Let’s hope he follows KVB and heads to Allen Park.

 Thoughts

 So far, so meh. They haven’t made any OMG SUPER BOWL moves so far. I like Wright and Durant, but the rest are just so-so at best. I listed 5 signings above, and completely made one up, and I doubt anyone noticed since the first 3 are players most people have never heard of. The made up guy was the TE, btw.

I have to hope/assume there is big news on the way. I won’t be bummed if it isn’t Asomugha, since I never thought we had a chance. I am really hoping for Tulluch or Barnett at ILB. I really really want Tulluch. Seriously, I would do un-natural things if he came to Detroit. Ahem… Other than that, it’s all conjecture. There are new reports every 17 minutes that list new Lions’ targets. I would list them all, but as was previously reported, I am a lazy asshole. More to come as it all unfolds. So long.

Well Played, Lions. Well Played Indeed.

I will give martin Mayhew and company this: They know how to keep me on my toes. They have made 3 picks, and all 3 picks have left me stumped. I already gave my thoughts on the Nick Fairley selection. I talked myself into liking it, assuming there was LB and CB help on the way. Instead, the Lions drafted a slot WR and gave up their 3rd and 4th rounders, and moved down in the 5th and 7th to draft a complimentary RB.

I didn't get it at first. I was bummed. If I haven't mentioned this before, I am a huge draft fan. I would rather watch the draft than the Super Bowl, World Series, Kentucky Derby,  Royal Wedding combined. It is literally my favorite sporting event in the world. I read sites like Walter Football and Mocking the Draft year round. I can't wait 'til the 2012 mock drafts start rolling in. If I was a Mormon, I would make the NFL draft my second wife. So when I say I was bummed, I truly mean bummed. It's like studying for a test for one whole year, and getting an F.

I waited patiently as players like Akeem Ayers, Bruce Carter, Ras-I Dowling, and Aaron Williams came off the board. Then, like the first round, Minnesota drafts an unlikely player (this time ND TE Kyle Rudolph, a player I can't stand. Why, you ask? Cam Gordon's backpedal, that's why.) setting Detroit up with a top-notch CB. This time it's Brandon Harris. Harris would fill two needs:

1. He plays a position of need.
2. He would allow me to say "Tha U" without the slightest bit of irony.

Then the hammer drops......again. Titus Young. WR. Boise State.

A third WR? What's wrong with Bryant Johnson? Or getting Stef Logan more involved? And why in the mother-scrumpling fuck is Derrick Williams higher on the depth chart than Tim Toone? And besides, a player from Boise State in the second round? Yeah, since that worked out so well last time. I know, I know. I can't hold Gerald Alexander against Titus Young. Says who? What are you, the grudge police? I don't trust players from Boise State. I want one thing from Idaho. Potatoes.

But just as I start rationalizing it to myself. I figure with Megatron, Burleson, and Young, that will spread the defense to create holes for Jahvid Best. And besides, there will be plenty of defensive help in the 3rd and 4th. You know, the normal steps to dealing with grief. A few more picks go by, and I'm cool. I'm ok.

"There has been a trade. The Lions are on the clock." Eeeeeeeeee!!! Brandon Harris! Finally! DA U!!!!! 

"The Lions select Mikel Leshoure. Running Back. Illinois."

I get the need for a RB to help Jahvid Best. I already covered it, in fact. I just assumed it would come after other needs were met. I am not one of the bloggers who pretends to know more than Martin Mayhew. I was excited when they drafted Ernie Sims, for crying out loud. But I have to question the lack of back seven help thus far. I know free agency was all funky this year, but man. Can Fairley play WLB?

But once again, I have talked myself into being kinda excited about it. Mikel Leshoure was rated as a top 3 RB almost unanimously. He weighs 230 lbs, and can be the "Thunder" to Best's "Lightning". Or whatever tired meme people come up with to call them. As long as Stafford can keep his ceramic shoulders intact, the Lions will have a pretty sick offense, right? Right? Sigh, I sure hope so... 

The Lions Draft Nick Fairley

As I watched the first round unfold, and saw guys like Christian Ponder (Lol Vikings) and Jake Locker (not lol, but a reach) I saw Prince Amukamara being available at 13. I thought he fit the mold as a high-character, high motor player at a position of need. The fact that he was Suh's teammate at Nebraska didn't hurt either.

Then I started to realize that guys like Robert Quinn and Da'Quan Bowers were available and thought maybe Mayhew keeps to his BPA style and takes one of them. Then the Lions turned in their card after being on the clock for all of 13 seconds it seemed like, and I had "Prince!!!!!!!!!!" typed and ready to send on my blackberry. Then Goodell  uttered the most shocking words I had heard in months.

"With the 13th pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions Select Nick Fairley. Defensive tackle. Auburn."

Wooo Prince Amuka......

Huh? Did they trade up to select Fairley? Are there two Nick Fairley's from Auburn in the draft? Did 5 teams miss their pick, and Detroit slid in front of them? Must sit down. Must sort thoughts.

At first, I was pissed. Another defensive tackle? A guy who took all those plays off in college? A guy who only had one big year? A guy who will be taking a pay cut to play in the NFL. (Yep, fuck you Auburn!) A guy at the deepest, most talented position on the team? Why?

I understand the thinking behind the best player available philosophy. At least I think I do. You saw how the Vikings dominated with the "Williams Wall". You take the best player available and work them into the rotation. You have potentially the most dominant young DT tandem ever. You make every OL coach on your schedule contemplate early retirement. You take a guy like Fairley who is a top 5 talent. Ok. I can get behind this.

Obviously, this is all predicated on finding linebackers and corners later in the draft, or free-agency (whenever that starts) because this was a luxury pick, plain and simple. This was taking a guy Jim Schwartz wanted that he didn't think would be available at #13.

So I will be watching the 2nd and 3rd round picks this evening, and will withhold my final grade until I see what they are able to do tonight. But in a vacuum, I give this pick an A.

Player to Trade Up For

The Lions are in an interesting position this year. There isn't a ten item list of needs to be addressed through the draft. I would list their "needs" as:

Offensive Line-An upgrade at RG is needed. Stephen Peterman should be bagging groceries at Hiller's. Upgrades would be nice everywhere, but Backus-Sims-Raiola-???-Cherilous is servicable. Their stats weren't that horrible last year, giving up the 6th least amount of sacks in the NFL. Of course the Lions had the 10th worst rushing attack, but that can be attributed to Jahvid Best's injuries, and having Maurice Morris as your back-up. I fear I am underestimating the importance Martin Mayhew is placing on replacing Backus.

Backup RB. The aforementioned Maurice Morris teamed with Kevin Smith to fail miserably at replacing Jahvid Best. A larger, between the tackles runner to team with Best is a pretty high priority, IMO.

Developmental QB-I won't beat around the bush here: Matthew Stafford can't stay healthy. I know, I know, shocking news. Shaun Hill is a serviceable backup, and performed well replacing Stafford last season. But the third stringer is still a sore spot. Drew Stanton also played well, but the organization obviously has no faith in him or his abilities. They started Shaun Hill over Stanton when Hill had a BROKEN ARM!!! Grabbing a guy in the 7th round to sit for a few years is the best approach. The QBs available that late will have glaring holes in their game, but they can be worked on over time. And if they don't pan out? Cut him and grab another one next year. 3rd string quarterbacks are disposable.

Linebackers-Notice the s. They have none. Well, they have DeAndre Levy. That's about it. Julian Peterson was cut. Ashlee Palmer and Landon Johnson are nice depth pieces, and Bobby Carpenter played well after he joined the rotation, but that's it. Unfortunately, there won't be a LB worth drafting at #13. Look for multiple LBs to be drafted between the 2nd-5th rounds.

Defensive Backfield help-Chris Houston might be gone. Alphonso Smith was as inconsistent as Vegas buffet seafood. Those are the best corners on the roster. Safety is ok with Delmas and Erik Coleman. This is the point of my post, in a nutshell.

I want the Lions to trade up for Patrick Peterson. Trade up to #5 with Arizona and draft Peterson. Give up your 2nd rounder, 3rd rounder, next year's 1st rounder, whatever. I want to see Peterson in Honolulu Blue and Silver. He could team with Houston to give Detroit one of the best CB tandems in the NFL. Find linebackers in free agency. Or find them in Canada. It worked for the Dolphins.

The point is, Peterson is better than the sum of the players they can draft with the picks they will have to give up. I like Amukamara, and if I knew for certain he would be there at #13, I would not advocate this strategy. There are 3 guys in this draft I would be happy to trade up for. Peterson, Dareus, and AJ Green. If Detroit could land one of them, I wouldn't care what it costs.

So with all this said, prepare to see Tyron Smith or Anthony Castonzo in a Lions jersey in the future.

A Look at the 13th Pick

Barring a trade, the Detroit Lions will select a player with the 13th overall draft pick on Thursday night. The 13th pick has had some successes and disappointments. Let's hope they end up with the former. Here is a look at the 13th pick dating back 20 years.

Year	Team	Player	Position	School	Boom/Bust
2010	Philadelphia Eagles	Brandon Graham	DE	Michigan	Inc.
2009	Washington Redskins	Brian Orakpo	DE	Texas	Boom
2008	Carolina Panthers	Jonathan Stewart	RB	Oregon	Boom
2007	St. Louis Rams	Adam Carriker	DE	Nebraska	Bust
2006	Cleveland Browns	Kamerion Wimbley	DE	Florida St.	Boom
2005	New Orleans Saints	Jamaal Brown	OT	Oklahoma	Boom
2004	Buffalo Bills	Lee Evans	WR	Wisconsin	Boom
2003	New England Patriots	Ty Warren	DE	Texas A & M	Boom
2002	New Orleans Saints	Donte Stallworth	WR	Tennessee	Boom
2001	Jacksonville Jaguars	Marcus Stroud	DT	Georgia	Boom
2000	New York Jets	John Abraham	DE	South Carolina	Boom
1999	Pittsburgh Steelers	Troy Edwards	WR	Louisiana Tech	Bust
1998	Cincinatti Bengals	Takeo Spikes	LB	Auburn	Boom
1997	Kansas City Chiefs	Tony Gonzalez	TE	Cal	Boom
1996	Chicago Bears	Walt Harris	CB	Mississippi St.	Boom
1995	New Orleans Saints	Mark Fields	LB	Washington St.	Boom
1994	New Orleans Saints	Joe Johnson	DE	Louisville	Boom
1993	Houston Oilers	Brad Hopkins	OT	Illinois	Boom
1992	New England Patriots	Eugene Chung	OT	Virginia Tech	Boom
1991	Atlanta Falcons	Mike Pritchard	WR	Colorado	Bust

Overall, I graded the picks as 16 good picks, 3 bad picks, and 1 incomplete. I gave Brandon Graham an incomplete because he only played in 13 games as a rookie before he tore his ACL. I would have given the 2009 and 2008 picks an incomplete had they not been so good. 

A few if the "Boom" grades were given to players that made the Pro Bowl, even though their entire career wasn't a total success. The bust picks were mainly relative to their draft position.

Overall, it gives me hope that the Lions will get a good player at 13. Of course, this means they will trade out of this pick.


EDIT-I changed Kamerion Wimbley from Bust to Boom. I didn't really check his production, which is pretty damned good. 35.5 sacks in 5 years. I had him confused with someone else, I guess.